CALL ME BELOVED

I’ve carried my routine from the old year into the new,
scheduled arrivals and car rides, predictable rotations
of tried-and-true dinners. We’ve become comforted by
complacency, letting the same conversations
run their course as we sit across from each other –
it is in this way that the days bleed together
and I let the weeks slip past as if in a fugue.

standing outside I feel the cold seep through my coat,
settling into my skin like fabric soaking up water.
the moon shines off the mounds of ice and snow while
the dull ache reminds me that I’m the culprit,
the one holding me back. I look to the stars, connect
the points of light into familiar shapes – always looking
for distraction, where ever I go.