CALL ME BELOVED

for mistakes, for being born
the very best kind of cosmic
mistake, never supposed to
happen but so stupidly happy
it did – so that I can shed fat
sobbing tears for the most
stupidest of shit –

for burning the cinnamon rolls,
for the smell of menthol rolled
onto an aching back corded with
knots, for promises made and
just as quickly forgot, god,
thank you for the forgetting.

Thank you for mistakes worth regretting,
like stones splashed into lakes, standing
shoreside and that perfect rock catches
your eye, just begging to be thrown –
thank you for the times I didn’t say
no. Thank you for the letting go,
for the soaring across the sky,
for the certainty of the fall –

thank you for the small forgivenesses
that I’ve learned how to grow, like
small smooth pearls I can hand myself,
string into long strands, thank you for
this opaline gown I drape myself in
like an oil-slick glow –

thank you for making me so uncomfortably
tall, chaining me to a broken body like
locking me inside a lighthouse – I’ll never
see the light but I carry it, keep it close,
listen and you’ll hear me calling you home